There are many fears to be had in this beautiful, sometimes, ugly world.
The professionals dub them Phobias.
What is a phobia?
One definition I happened upon states:
A phobia is defined as the unrelenting fear of a situation, activity, or thing that causes one to want to avoid it.
My personal definition – being piss scared of doing something that is actually rather normal.
There are hundreds if not thousands of different Phobias. In fact, I reckon a dictionary on all the words ending in Phobia would probably be thicker, than the latest updated version of the Oxford – okay, overreacting but it’s pretty damn close!
I have one, wasn’t born with it and certainly never had it as a child; having fallen out of trees more times than I care to remember.
But like something’s in life it crept up on me. Stalked me from the dark corners of my mind and then, wham!
One day out of the blue it pounced on me!
Fear of heights.
I feel faint just looking up at a high-rise from a pavement.
A fact which makes my boys giggle rather loudly.
No pills for such a disorder… wish there bloody were.
So we’ll just have to put on our big girl panties stand up and face it head on.
Twice, my innards turned to sticky custard.
My knees shivered, and my jowls wobbled, but I made it to the top.
I could of course not stand on the edge and lean over the railing, but I took in the archaic crumbling city with my back pressed firmly against the metal wall – away from the edge.
I found myself wondering if the men who built this for Gustave Eiffel had shared his love for clouds, and blue sky. They would have had to, to be able to sit all the way up here hammering and tightening bolts.
The second time….
Did I look down as the space age cocoon bolted – apparently – securely to the large wheel, arched over the top?
No, don’t be silly.
But I did glance out at the Thames just before we crested, and made myself enjoy the downward journey after.
So according to me, I faced my fear – twice!
I am stoked.
And yes there are those who will believe not looking over the edge, and not opening my eyes at the very top of the two steel constructions is a failure… but I don’t care.
I made it!
I grabbed Acrophobia by the undies and gave it a wedgie!